The 3 fastest means of communication:
telephone, television and tell a woman.

Growing up is full of big moments.
Some of them you can see coming from a mile away;
and some you can't see at all.
 

Fake people talk about other people being fake while real
people worry about their own business and nobody else's

I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much,
but hey, there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
  

 ^ too cute 

The two most important days in your life are the day
you are born, and the day you find out why.
–Mark Twain

People who say, “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,”
have obviously never had bacon

We fight like tomorrow is promised. 

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”